Admit it, you've often told yourself that it would be nice if you could speak a foreign language. But seconds afterwards you tell yourself "But it's too hard!" and other lame excuses. I know, I once told myself these same pathetic lies too. But if you follow through with my time-tested advice, you'll soon be able to say things like "Mais, parler Français est si facile!", "¡Pero, ablar Español es tan fácil!" or "Aber, sprechen Deutsch ist so einfach!", or "Но, говоря русский настолько легок!"*, or "但讲的汉语很容易"* or... you get the idea. Read on!
* = thank you Babel Fish!
Why learn a new language?
Many good reasons:
- You'll discover another fantastic culture, meet new people and visit exotic places, while actually feeling part of the community instead of an "undesired" outsider.
- You'll be able to travel and interact with confidence (and pay real prices, not tourist prices).
- You'll be able to work in many places... including embassies!
- You'll read books in all their original written glory.
- You'll show off to your friends and your dates (you know you want to).
- You'll be so much wiser and cultured (yes, especially you).
On the flip side, the only downsides I see are:
- It does require a minimum of effort, but if you decide to spend 30 minutes less watching daily mind-numbing TV and study instead, you'll be reaping the rewards fast.
- Foreign music will sound less exotic and sexy now that you understand what the lyrics actually mean.
- Once the language veil is lifted, you'll begin to notice that despite their attractive accent every culture has its fair share of dumb & boring people; quite disappointing really.
Yeah, but my French is *SO* bad!
Ah, my dear Anglophone friend. If you were raised outside of Québec, I'm sincerely pleased that you're willing to make the extra effort to learn the rich local language and embrace our beautiful culture. I like you already! Following the advice below will help you get a great head start; the rest will ensue naturally.
Now, for the few Anglophones who were actually raised in Québec and can't even speak French, shame on you! Really. You know who you are, and you should know that as a proud French-Canadian nationalist I will never tolerate such laziness and lack of respect. My advice to you is twofold: 1) don't disclose to Francophones that you don't understand French and 2) RUN, don't walk, to learn the language. Follow the guidelines bellow and you'll be a legitimate first-rate Québécois in no time!
Personal experiences
Time to bore you with personal anecdotes: I was 13 years old and badly failing at English (I really didn't care for it) before I found out about amazing things like old-school text-based computer adventure games, Star Trek (ok, call me geek), The Simpsons (yup!), English literature, business and politics which all required a natural understanding of the language. Once I had found my purposes, English learning went very fast and I got nothing but straight A's since (in English at least).
My many past attempts at learning Spanish either at school or on my own failed miserably partly because I had fruitlessly tried to cram my brain with hundreds of words and grammatical rules, while not being able to even voice one sentence properly. Thanks to the methods below (hey, I'm still learning), I feel much more confident and can now hold basic conversations with Latinos for a few minutes, with proper accent and all!
Ok, what do you suggest?
The products and hints I'll be suggesting you are what fit my newfound language learning logic:
- Speak first, write later: as children, we learn to speak *way* before focusing on writings and grammar. Focus on the spoken part first as you'll learn faster and feel better; the written aspects will then come naturally.
- Confidence is key: Memorizing hundreds of words and expressions won't do much good if you don't have enough poise to speak up!
- It can really be easy: once the veil starts to disappear, you'll feel just how logical and natural the language really is, and you'll get a burning desire to learn more! (of the same or another language)
- Allow yourself to err: you'll make blunders at first. No worthy person will make fun of your mistakes; instead, most people will politely correct you. You'll learn and better yourself as you practice more.
- Get a motivating purpose: you'll gladly stick with the program and endure the learning pains much easier if you know why you're studying a language. Is it for travel, for work, for your lover, for enlightenment, for culture? Get a clear goal and you'll do much better.
- Define your desired level of fluency: do you want to just get by enough to be able to order in a restaurant and ask for directions, do you want to master the language enough so that you'll understand local news and papers, or do you want to speak philosophy with an indigenous scholar? Whatever you choose, remember that we only use a limited core vocabulary in day-to-day life. Personally, for major languages like Spanish, German, Arabic, Russian and Mandarin, I aim at medium fluency (800-2000 words) while I'll stick to basic (200-500 words) for eventual Swahili, Irish or... Klingon.
But if you don't use it you lose it!
The same goes with all knowledge (and also the right to vote and freedom of speech), but if you use Approach #2 listed below (and even Approach #1) you'll most likely remember the language for life, just like riding a bicycle!
Skip the brochure, will you tell me how to do it already?
Sure, sure (geez, patience nowadays...). These are all audiobooks, so you can peacefully learn at home, in your car (less recommended; you do need to pay attention) or when you walk about with your MP3 player... and sound eerily like one of those a crazy folks who talk to themselves!
Approach #1: Michel Thomas Method
Price: $30-130 CAD
- Michel Thomas
- Michel Thomas (his nom de guerre; born Moniek Kroskof) was a Polish Jew who was raised in Germany. Before the onset of WWII he moved to France to study.
- In a very James Bond style, during the war he rapidly joined the Résistance while passing as a native French artist having his identity protected by an influential female lover. He would nonetheless be enslaved in 3 concentration camps before escaping and being taken again and interrogated by Klaus Barbie himself, but his French was so good that he fooled the Butcher of Lyon.
- Upon his release, he rapidly learned English and assisted the OSS in their commando work. He later joined the CIC, helped in liberating the Dachau concentration camp, found a document cache that would become instrumental evidence during the Nuremberg Trials and became a Nazi hunter after the war. He would receive the Silver Star years later.
- After the war he moved to the USA where he opened many language centers that taught actors, celebrities, ambassadors, academics and corporate chiefs to rapidly become fluent and speak confidently with a credible accent. He later devised audiobook versions of his courses before passing away in 2005.
- Visit his official website →
For starters, I wholeheartedly recommend "French/German/Italian/Spanish with Michel Thomas". This is actually a program used by many Hollywood actors and other celebrities when they need to pick up a language fast WITH a believable accent. The course takes the form of a teacher presenting the language to 2 students: a sharp pupil and a 40-watt dummy. You essentially become the 3rd student (your wattage may vary). The teacher presents bits of the language and has the students try to mimic him or answer his questions, but the trick is that you have to press pause and answer before the other 2 do! A key feature of this approach is that the teacher describes all the similarities between English and the language you're trying to learn, and tells you how to simply modify your current English vocabulary to transfer it to your newly discovered language. The instructor also emphasizes on pronunciation and intonations, something WAY too often overlooked in traditional tapes or books.
Within the first two hours you'll understand basic grammar and will have the confidence needed to speak, understand and modify a few sentences on your own. If you pay attention during class, you'll only have to go through the whole thing once, no need to repeat the course!
The 2-hour introductory course "Speak [LANGUAGE] with Michel Thomas" is aimed at teasing you while the whole basic course "[LANGUAGE] with Michel Thomas" lasts 8 hours. Yup, very short, but SO great! Follow-up courses "Advanced [LANGUAGE] with Michel Thomas" & "Language Builder" are also offered. A new edition just came out on November 20, 2006 so titles and content may have changed a bit since.
- Pros:
- FAST introduction to languages; you'll be speaking within two hours!
- Relatively cheap ($30-130 CAD).
- Friendly teacher-student environment.
- Focus on proper accents, intonations and pronunciation.
- Builds the CONFIDENCE you need to speak the language so you won't worry about making eventual mistakes.
- Auto-expands your vocabulary rapidly by pointing out the similarities between English and the language you're learning.
- No homework, no reading, no note-taking.
- Cons:
- Non-permanent material; unless you practice, follow with more advanced courses or boost your knowledge by listening to the audiobooks again, you'll eventually lose your skills.
- The teacher slobbers while he speaks. Lots. I find myself swallowing constantly just by listening to the guy!
- Limited titles: French, German, Italian and Spanish only.
Approach #2: Pimsleur Language Learning System
Price: $20-350 CAD
- Dr. Paul Pimsleur
- Dr. Paul Pimsleur created his highly effective language system based on 4 principles:
- Anticipation:
- Answering promptly before the instructor does.
- Graduated Interval Recall:
- Reviewing of material at scientifically calculated intervals.
- Core Vocabulary:
- Building a limited set of most commonly used words for daily life.
- Organic Learning:
- Learning grammar, vocabulary, and pronunciation simultaneously by listening.
If you're really committed to learning and want a surefire way to remember and be comfortable in speaking a new language, definitely give the Pimsleur Language Learning System a shot. This method is a set of conversation drills based on the natural speed at which your brain remembers new verbal concepts: each new word gets introduced into conversation exercises at longer and sometimes random intervals, migrating slowly from your short-term to your long-term memory. The result is knowledge that you essentially remember forever, whether you use it or not!
The format is pretty straightforward: each 30 minutes lesson begins with an often incomprehensible conversation between 2 natives. Then the conversation is broken down into tiny chunks and each chunk is translated. You then have to follow the English guidelines (either repeating lines or answering questions) before a native gives out the answer; you repeat the answer once more making sure you sound just like him. Some new words get introduced, and finally another scenario is presented, only this time you are taking part in the conversation... and you feel amazed at how easy you can do so!
The method itself was scientifically developed for maximum learning efficiency. As with the Michel Thomas method, if you concentrate on the lesson at hand you won't ever have to repeat a course twice.
Complete courses have 30 lessons each, cost upwards of $300 CAD and many major languages have 3-4 courses. Affordable introduction courses consisting of 10 to 16 lessons are found under the very similar "Basic", "Quick & Simple" and "Conversational" titles. However, these 10 to 16 lessons are the same first ones found in the complete Level I course, so if you choose to buy this more comprehensive edition down the road you'll end up with duplicate lessons.
- Pros:
- It just plain works.
- Excellent accents, intonations and pronunciation.
- Long-term remembrance and fluency, even years afterwards!
- Focus on how the language works and sentences are assembled.
- Basic reading skills covered.
- No homework, no note-taking.
- Over 35 languages to choose from.
- Cons:
- Limited vocabulary.
- Expensive: $300+ CAD per full course... and major languages have 3-4 courses!
- Takes 1 month to complete each course level.
- Requires discipline (30 minutes a day, every day).
- Feels tedious at times.
- No grammar taught; you pick it up logically as you go along.
Approach #3: Learn in Your Car Series
Price: $20 CAD
Once you've got your basic to advanced mastery of the language using either mentioned method above, you may still lack vocabulary. Here come the traditional language courses to the rescue. These courses are your basic word/translation method where you must still try to speak before the answer is given, but there's no teaching done except force-feeding you boring word lists. Mind numbing, and you'll have to go through the lists quite a few times, but it does bump your vocabulary level by a few hundred words. There are many such schools to choose from, but I personally use the "Learn in Your Car" series to drill new nouns and verbs into my head while I iron my shirts or perform various brain-dead household chores.
- Pros:
- Cheap.
- Expands your vocabulary.
- Requires no concentration.
- Cons:
- Dull.
- No teaching, just words.
- You'll have to go through the tapes quite a few times.
- Not effective for long-term memory unless you use the words regularly.
- Only useful if you've achieved basic fluency with the language first.
Ok, where do I get these great courses?
Michel Thomas courses are readily available at Chapters and Amazon for $30-130 CAD each. Don't feel like paying a dime? Lucky for you, the Grande Bibliothèque du Québec in Montréal corner Maisonneuve and Berri has a well-furnished language center where you can borrow a few titles by Michel Thomas (reload twice) for absolutely nothing. Sweet!
Pimsleur Method's prices alas reflect their high efficiency: about $20 to $45 for intro packs and up to $350 per level for complete 30-lesson courses. Again, Chapters and Amazon has them. You may want to check out eBay for second-hand copies at substantially reduced prices. The introductory French course is also available (reload twice) at the Grande Bibliothèque du Québec.
Learn in Your Car vocabulary builder courses are also available at Chapters and Amazon for about $20 to $50 CAD each.
Yeah, but I'm a cheapskate!
You mean you're just a mere peasant and don't carry that kind of pocket change? Well, second-class citizen, check out if your city or university library has these audio programs available. Of course, if you're internet knowledgeable and are able to use P2P networks like BitTorrent or eDonkey, you obviously *could* find *all* of these easily for free, but don't: like with downloading fast-food junk music, you'd be encouraging piracy and not helping Simon & Schuster meet their multi-million dollars quarterly profit expectations. You really should give your hard-earned minimum-wage money to these cash-hungry publication megahouses, they need it a lot more than you do, vulgar bum.
Of course, doesn't anyone dare ask me for convenient MP3 copies on DVD; I'm very selfish and I'd refuse to share anything I have. Don't.
Additional tips:
- Insist on being served in French/Spanish/whatever: especially if you're an Anglophone in Québec trying to master French, DO insist on being served in French.
- Find an activity that will force you to speak the language: whether it is a job, a hobby, a social group or volunteering, getting some real-life practice will only improve your skills and help you rectify uncertainties faster.
- Travel if you can: completely immersing yourself in the language and culture forces you to think fast and master the language so much quicker. You may want to look for immersion programs that run for a couple of weeks or more; as a bonus, you get to really meet the natives and understand their values and aspirations.
- Get a native-speaking lover? Maybe not: while I'm sure it helps in terms of setting personal goals, my past relationships with language natives have landed me very little usable vocabulary... at least nothing I would use at the table for instance! Your mileage may vary.
- Buy a translation book or abuse Babel Fish: if you're reading something you don't understand, don't wait, jump to an online translation service or to a conveniently located translation book. I'd go for a pocket-sized book myself, as the heavier ones can be discouraging to use constantly.
Final Words
Did I forget something, do you have additional advice? Email-me your suggestions! (yes, you'll get credit.) Now go and get ready to speak to the world! 